Commuting. Makes me want to die. Or kill people, it's hard to say.

Nothing makes me feel more like a lemming that trying to get on the train in the morning.  Those are those little animals that jump off cliffs in bunches right?  Because attempting to get onto a train with these people actually makes me want to jump off into an icy abyss.  Is it just me or is everyone that takes the train in the morning a cranky asshole?  Honestly, there is not a nice looking face on there.  I’m not saying I’m the exception, god knows I’m a cranky assface until the hours between 5 p.m. – 2 a.m..  (I understand that’s very late in the day and not very many hours, but shit, it’s my life I do what I want (not really)).  But really, no one on the train is a happy person, you’d think they’d prefer to just drive themselves to work so they wouldn’t have to sit next to anyone, because that’s the biggest issue.

Look, there are a lot of people who take the train in the morning, and there are usually enough seats if you utilize the middle or “bitch” seat.  I understand no one likes it, but sometimes it has to be done.  I don’t want to stand on a train for thirty minutes at 7:25 a.m.  I just don’t, so move your fucking bag you ignorant jackass.  And stop looking pissed off when I ask to sit there, I’m not telling you to move over and take it, I’m going to, so you only have to touch one person while I have to touch two.

And another thing, guys are the fucking worst on the train.  It doesn’t matter if they’re in jeans or a professional business suits, they always sit with their legs as wide as possible.  Listen dude, you can’t fucking do that right now.  There are three people sitting on this stupid bench seat, your balls can hold off on their space for thirty minutes.  You won’t die.  

Now for the T, or the metro, subway, for people who do not live on the North Shore.  Though it’s crowded and decidedly more touching that on the train, I like it better.  Because people understand that there is going to be touch, lots of it.  Not in a weird gross way…hopefully.  Except there’s always that gross as fuck PDA couple who thinks they need to kiss and touch each other’s asses the whole time.  It sucks.  They are gross.  Not much more can be done but to stick your face further into your book and pretend to be somewhere else.

There is one game I like to play on the T that helps me pass the time on my hour and a half commute: spot the gay girls.  Then: spot how many of them will never date you.  The numbers are always the same…weird.