Well, it's almost time to return to school again. Have you missed me? I can safely say that I have not missed you, because you're not the one writing an awesomely funny blog. Oops, down, Ego.
College has a lot of perks.
1) I do not have to let my parents know what I am doing during any part of my day unless I deem it necessary to tell them. And if I do it's a very watered down version: "Yes, mother, I did indeed attend classes today. Later I plan on spending my night studying." Translation: "Yes, mother, I did indeed oversleep for my 1:30 class and then could not be bothered to attend. Later I plan on spending my night celebrating team Tuesday at the bar, because I am finally 21 and no long have to hide my alcohol addiction."
2) It is much easier to hide the fact that you did not do the reading. And if you want to at least put in a little effort into pretending you did sparknotes still exists -god knows why- and if it wasn't available, Yahoo answers. (I've only used this once, it was not reliable, heed this warning). Now, this may come as a shock to you all but I actually do read for class so this perk is not really useful to me. But others deem it so.
3) If you don't want to go to class, don't. Again, I generally attend most (shocking I know) classes. I will usually skip the allotted three classes allowed, but that's only because I know I can, and sometimes 8:30's are really just too fucking painful.
4) Free dishes and utensils! If you're too lazy to pack your own, the dining hall offers a wide variety of colors, and lets face it, they're not hard to steal. Just return them by the end of the year. Or not. I think I still have a mug or two lying around.
5) Endless source of amusement. Lets face it, there are a bunch interesting people on campus. And there's nothing I like better than to watch them make giant asses of themselves, whether they be drunk or sober. Lax bros, weird lithousers, library creeps, oit people, there's an endless pool of enjoyment. Soon, incoming freshman will flock (literally) into our dining hall, our parties (uninvited), and classes. They will say and do stupid things, and we will be there to laugh. After we're done laughing we may extend a hand of guidance, or not, your choice. I like to watch them suffer a little.
5B) If you've forgotten what a freshman is/how they act, please refer back to previous entries.
6) And this is the last one for the night: NO SUMMER READING. I said it, no summer reading. None. That's not to say that I didn't read, because I did, and I read a lot, but I was not forced to read some lame ass crap that I had to glue my eyes open for. I read way more awesome things, like my tv guide. Just kidding, I only read that on Mondays.
I hope everyone has been/will be enjoying their last remnants of summer. It's closing in fast. I will be spending my last days cooped by in a dark movie theatre with no windows, but that's how I like it. Plus I didn't spend a dime all summer on films, how much did you spend? Suckers.
