Room Draw

There are a lot of crappy things about college.  The lack of money, the food at the dining hall, that time where they increased laundry prices.  (I mean seriously, what the fuck).  But worst of all: room draw.  Now I know some time has passed since its occurrence, but I believe this time has allowed our minds to clear and we can look back on it with new perspective.  Actually, no.  It was still bullshit.

I’ve seen more people cry at room draw than I have at a frat party, and that’s really saying something.  Going to a quad party is like watching The Notebook and taking everything away except for the crying – by the way, I really hate that movie.  As in I purposely stole my best friend’s copy to save her poor and rotting brain.  At times I fear I was too late. 

Now, I understand everyone is not going to live where they want to live.  But I also grew up with the mentality of seniority.  You don’t take grandpa’s chair because he will beat you with his cane.  Or you know, he’s old and that’s the only chair that doesn’t hurt this back, but whatever.  The point is: you don’t take a western shore dorm if you’re a rising junior.  You do not deserve it.  I don’t care if you have enough class credits to make you a rising senior; you’ve still only been here two years.  Ergo, I have seniority.  I will smite you with my mighty fists of justice.  Or my Ecology in the Chesapeake Bay bio book.  Which by the way I did not open once this semester. 

Room draw is like walking into a den of lions.  You walk in thinking you’re a lion too but it turns out that you’re an antelope.  A soon to be very dead antelope.  And if you still don’t understand my analogy think of it this way: You’re Mufasa and room draw is Scar.  Oops, still stuck on the lion scenario.  My apologies if the Lion King reference made some repressed memories resurface.  It’s ok to cry, I still do.

One of the worst parts of room draw is having to watch the big red X cross out where you had planned to live.  But it’s still ok, you have plan two!  Only to watch plan two get the big red X.  Why’s everything gotta be red with you people?  Does my F on that math test really have to be written in red and then circled multiple times?  I’m kidding about having taken a math…and the F.  But wait, you still have plan three!  No, that’s gone.

It’s ok.  Just pitch a tent between Chester and Sass.  Don’t like camping for long periods of time?  That’s ok, there’s always Reid.  That gone too?  Well shit, back to Minta with you.  I’m just thankful that’s the last time I will ever have to endure that crap, and my apologies to those of you who still have some time left here.  Here’s one more analogy before you go: It’s like voluntarily boarding the Titanic even though you know it’s going to hit an iceberg and sink.  Had to.