Finals, BFD

It’s finals week.  Which means everyone has turned into big scary dragons.  And the first thing you need to know about Hogwarts is that you “never tickle a sleeping dragon.”  Coincidence?  I think not.  I’m not saying WAC is Hogwarts (‘cause that’s just outlandish).  I’m saying everyone turns into a fire-breathing monster.  Especially if you accidentally wake them up during designated napping times. 

I on the other hand, do not turn into a dragon.  I am a chilled out bunny hanging in the grass and eating some carrots.  And by carrots I meant left over peeps from Easter, I fucking hate carrots.

Here’s the thing about finals that people seem to not understand: they are just tests.  In fact, they’re just glorified midterms.  They just happen to take place all in one week.  You don’t freak out and scream when you have a French test one day and then an English paper due the next during midterm week do you?  No.  You just get it done. 

Why is it that everyone completely looses their shit during finals?  You’re given months notice, and then you have a whole week where maybe, you have one test a day, sometimes two.  And if you have more than three, you can change it!  Incredible!

Finals are built up in people’s minds to be this giant mountain that you can’t conquer.  Well guess that, you can.  It’s called CHILLING OUT.  It’s a test.  Do you really think you’re going to remember the grade out got on a Chemistry test your junior year of college when you’re 36?  No, you’re not.  I don’t remember a single grade I got when I took it in high school.  (But then again I went to progressive hippie school that didn’t give grades, but I digress). 

Finals will not determine your life.  And even if you fail, if you’ve done a pretty good job so far in the semester, you’re not seriously going to screw up your final grade outcome.  And if you do?  You’ll survive.  Your life is not based upon A’s and B’s or even F’s.  F’s, though scary and ego crippling, are learning experiences.  Maybe that astronomy class was not your strong suit; maybe math isn’t the major for you.

People on the street are not going to hand you report cards for how you well you can walk on a sidewalk or how well you did on your blind date.  (Just remember that no matter what you do, blind dates always end in F’s, they are complete bullshit).

So do what I do.  Study.  But not until you’re so tired you can’t keep your eyes open or until your brain hurts.  Just study, and breathe, and sleep.  When someone offers encouragement, take it.  Don’t say “YOU’RE DISTRACTING ME.”  Kind words go a long way and when someone offers support give it back.  We’re all miserable, so you’re gonna want your friends to lean on, not a pile of ashes that were once your friends but you burned them to a crisp with your fiery temper.

If that doesn’t help do what I do: think about summer.  It’s three days away.  Just get trough it.  You have a four-month reward waiting for you at the finish line.